How I Spent My Christmas Holiday

Happy New Year Y’all!!

I thought I start my first piece of the New Year with something from the past.

Remember when you were a kid and for the Christmas holiday your teacher told you to write a essay about how you spent your Christmas with your family?  Do you remember what you wrote in that essay? Can you remember what grades you were in when you had to write that essay?

I thought for fun that I write one this time because I can not tell how excited I was to be going to spend Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls. We had orginially discussed it back during Labor Day weekend, so right before Thanksgiving we had the made the plan for me to go there for Christmas official.  So the whole trip ticket for me to stay a whole week was purchased before November could even finish with itself.

By the first week for December we were discussing was to go.  I know that I want to visit the San Antonio Riverwalk. I have been to San Antonio at least 4 times and not one time did we go to the Riverwalk as we always talked about. Since I will be there for a much longer time it is on list, along with going to Texas do Brasil for dinner, going threw some well known neighborhood to see the Christmas lights and somewhere during the week we are going ice skating. (So can not wait to bust my ass with this event!)

I will be there to celebrate my birthday and so I thinking a cake, dinner and girls’ silliness.  Nope!!! Harry and Michelle calls during week 2 in December to let me know that they got something big planned and that I need to have evening wear for a night on the town. As much as my ass shop, I did not think about purchasing evening wear or anything to wear for New Year’s, which Harry and Michelle insist that I stay longer to attend a New Year’s Eve party with them. And I just couldn’t say “No!”  (Feeling guilty before it all starts)

So the ride to San Antonio went smooth and late as usually, but that is okay.  Upon arrival at the house, the outside was bright with festival Christmas lights, however when I walked inside it was another thing and I did not have any sunglasses with me.  More festival Christmas stuff than I could even image. I mean the decorations that were in Harry and Michelle’s house was something that I have not seen since my Grandmother when we used to live on Eggleston St in Chicago. (Those were the go days!) I counted four Christmas trees, including a pink Christmas tree, in the house and decorations where ever in almost ever rooms in the house, this is including the bedrooms and two of the three bathrooms.  Christmas stockings over the fireplace and three stockings on the wall, one for each dog in the house: Fifi, Houston, and Bella. Again I have not seen this amount of gifts since Christmas on Eggleston St., with most of the gifts going to the kids as usually. And the scents of Christmas through out the house.

From December 22 - January 2, we went to dinner at other people’s house for dinner. We drove around Windcrest for look at the beautiful decorations, and yes, I too video and pictures.  We had a lot of baking which lead to a lot washing dishes. (Trust me when I say that my hand are beyond the Palmolive Hands for dish wash.) Again it reminded me of days of living in my grandparents' house on Eggleston St. in Chicago. And finish the time there with New Year’s Eve at Harry and Michelle’s friends’s house with some amazing people, and we realizes just how old we are to try stay up. It was cute and hilarious in enjoy that evening. Now somewhere during these days, Bella decided to redecorate the house with things that she thought were appropriate. (That is truly a story for another time.)

Also during that time, I have managed to eat more tamales than I have ever eaten in my life time. With each tamale, I eat a different kind with amazing favor. And come to find out that tamales is a regular dish in the San Antonio area.  So WOW to that factor and to eat some of the other amazing food that I got to eat.

Spending Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls made me realizes what I missed most about spending Christmas with my family and what I do not miss about spending Christmas with my family. And there were a lot of don'ts!

Until next time. . . .

Family Drama

Hello everyone,

I know the that year is coming to an end and everyone is busy with Christmas coming and the New Year coming, oh there is just so much coming at once.

I am so happy to get away this coming Christmas that I can not possibility can not find a way to put it all in writing.  If you did not have family drama during Thanksgiving then it is waiting for you for Christmas.

And don’t you just love when you have to deal with family drama? Like parties involved expect you to be involve or they get mad because you try to apply some rationality to the situation that they are either not able to see or not willing to admit the solution.This is the killer part ladies and gentlemen, both parties or all parties believe that they are right.

Here is anything that is amazing about family drama: if you voice your opinion they get mad at you. And stay mad at you! Am I right?

Y’all I got family drama in the house but then again when is there never drama in the house.  Uncle against uncle, sister against sister, sister against brother, daughter against mother and sometimes younger uncle.  And what are we fighting about in the house? Probably about some of the same things that is happening in everyone else’s house: who did not clean the kitchen?, where is your share of the rent and utilities, wash your ass, take your ass to work, etc.

Actually how long does family drama last? Does family drama ever ends? In out house never thought we do keep the peace by everyone staying in their own room. Sometimes.

Can’t everyone just get along for the holidays and have some fun? Look, there are people in the whole who are in a much difficult situation than your family drama. Each day we hear something horrible from news and it is often heartbreaking.  Family drama is not heartbreaking but malicious. You lose your blessings and those blessing are very valuable.

So for this Christmas, for those of you who are a war with that certain family members, open your heart and give forgiveness. And together with that person walk into the New Year with new understanding and love.

To everyone around the whole, I wish a Merry Christmas and joyful Happy New Year.  And may we all ask the Lord to let us have a better year in 2019 than what we had in 2018.

See y’all in the New Year.

Being that Empty-Nester

Okay to all parents who are sitting around wondering what do I do now that the kids are gone? Surely most parents have thought about this question. “ What do we do once the kids have moved on with their lives?”  I did not have to ask that question because I could not wait for Nick to get his ass out the house and stay out!! I was feeling a new sense of freedom dancing around around the house and emptying a bottle of wine in my own celebration.  However that was me and you may have your own ideal as to what you want to do. It is just where to start, right?

I think I tired several times before I have to force him to not return.  (Well, he had already enrolled in the Army to go full time so I thought it was the perfect opportunity for him to get his shit in order).  And I am so glad that he did.

However I was already doing the empty nest thing before Nick even finished high school.  I had joined the Illinois National Guard and I was release with an honourable medical discharged.  I was 37 when I join and please don’t ask what was I thinking at that time. But I can tell you this that was the best decision that I had done for I had learned how to get myself in shape and I why should not quit something because I am tired or I feel like I can’t do it.  Going through training I learned that I can do a lot.

When Nick left home I did not have that sense of “Oh my baby is leaving me!” Mines was more of “It took you this long to leave.” followed by “Why is the hell did you come back?”  Now don’t get me wrong, most parents were in tears when that only child or that favorite child left home. But we parents have to let them spread their wings and live their life, and we are to be there for when they fall. (That was more easily written then the actual trails of events that could occur once they leave.)  Some events in our children’ lives might be similar to what we have went through in our own lives and that is where we can share some wisdom with them and perhaps give advice to other parents who might be encounting that similar problem, however there might be some events that might leave other parents shaking their heads followed by “I am so sorry that your child is crazy!”

Now we have to some parents who are not empty nesters yet, and I bet that the father is doing the countdown as to when their will leave home for good. Why? Because that child is out of his pocket!  He can now get down and dirty with the Mrs. without the kids being around. He can around to buying that motorcycle that the Mrs. will tell him to sale after 3 months. Or maybe the Mrs. might have some plans of her own like change that kid’s into her new closet for her shoes or expanding the kitchen.  Then after some time later the Mrs might say or will say “Go bail your child out of jail!” or “Pay the boy/girl’s rent this month.” or “Help him pay this month’s child support.” or something.

Isn’t that the point of being an empty nester is for your child(ren) to leave home so that they will learn to solve their own problems without them constantly going in your pocket?  You have that extra money to do whatever you want with the hubby or wife. Aren’t you as parents are suppose to be going on that romantic cruise or on that trip that you have been waiting to take?  I am sure and I am hoping that some of you did as well as current empty nesters having a bucket list made of all the things that you wanted to do, learn and try. On my bucket list is visiting Ireland, South Korea, and China. Learn how to hack(hacking) and learn to write a code. (Like I don’t already have some of cousins thinking that I work for the FBI. haha haha haha) Love it!

My Auntie said that the first thing that she wanted to do was party, and I can honestly say that she has not stop.  Get “Naked and run around the house” is a thing that most older parents said they wanted to do when their children left the house. To walk around the house in one’s boxer shorts with the Sunday newspaper in hand while sitting on the couch on a sunny Sunday afternoon waiting for the game to start. Dating freely without having the kids around to give their utmost objective expressions or the tyrant behaviors was another thing that someone wanted to do.  Have food to eat was another wish from an empty-nester. Haha haha, now I can relate to this one because Nick would sometimes come home with his friends and they eat me out of house and home. Because kids do like to eat, they might be picky, but they do eat a lot. And now that I think about it, as a empty-nester, we get to spend less time at the grocery because we are not shopping for the kids. (Lord, that is subject all by itself.) And what about the amount of laundry you don’t have to do any more! But then at a certain age they should have learned how to wash their own clothes.

All I am saying is that when the kids leave for college or whatever advantage their choose to live, let’s be there to support them (the kids) but at the same time have the ticket to have lots of fun.

“Shake your groove baby, shake your groove baby, yeah yeah!” (Peaches and Herb y’all) Show them how you do it now!”  (repeat)

Work Locations (Would you travel for work?)

In all my 20 years as a contractor I have spent most of that traveling to and from a job from one location to another with one or more cities.  So I am asking you how far would you travel or are willing to travel for a job?

So what prompt me to write this piece was one I was on the last bus for home and there was this lady young who was still young in her mind. There was also a third person in this conversation and she was able the same age as I am.  Anyway, somehow our conversation went to where do you work at? So the young explained that she worked at Walmart, not in our neighborhood but somewhere else. She ask asked the other older woman where she was calling from her job and the other woman responded with that she was traveling from Addison, Texas for her job.  And when the young lady ask me where job was, I explained that I worked in Fort Worth (that is 42 miles in distance). Then the young lady responsed to both of us “There is no way in hell I would travel for any job regardless of the pay”. (Please keep in mind that she was 21 yrs old, she is still young.)

When it come to work, most of us know that you have to go where the money is. Or for other reason we choose to accept a job, and it may not be about the money but the job opportunity or status in which it holds.  We get to that job by any means whether it is by car, bus, train, or plane like what Tom Joyner did when he traveled from Atlanta to Chicago to do his show in the late 1990's or like today with Mr. Steve Harvey. (But some us don’t have Tom Joyner’s or Steve Harvey’s money.)

If you have been to Chicago t hen you know they have a huge transportation system in place that runs 24 hours with the exception of the Metra which starts running around 4 a.m. to about 1 a.m. depending on which line you are riding at the time.  In Milwaukee, their first bus run is around 5 something in the morning with the last bus running in the 1 a.m. and Dallas has the same time system as Milwuakee however Dallas DART system can be compared to that of Chicago.

Why did I add that part in about the cities? Because I don’t have car and I have never brought a car, and I did not let that be my excuse as to why I could not get around for work.  Those with a car, some of them will not be willing to even travel a distance for a job. But they will to go shopping. People keep asking if I am ever going to get around to buying a car. Mostly not however I will get faster than getting a specific other in live.

I would say that I have spent most of my 20 years as a contractor traveling to from point to point for work.  While living in Chicago, most on my assignments were within the downtown area. I would get one or two jobs that would call for going to one of nearest suburbs like Naperville or Joliet.  I once had several positions for Pearson Education which was located in Glenview, IL. I had to literally travel through the Chicagoland and past several small towns to get to Glenview by Metra. That was some 30 miles at one point that I had traveled for work. My last assignment at Pearson Education, I was traveling from Milwaukee, WI to Glenview, Il and to go from Glenview to Chicago from school and ended my day by traveling from Chicago to Milwaukee.

Was I tired during that last assignment at Pearson? Yes, I was.

While temping at my last assignment, I met a co worker who lived in Waxahachie, Texas and came to work in Fort Worth, Texas, that is some 38 miles between the two cities. There was another worker who lived in Forney, Texas which is about 50 - 53 miles depending on which way, East or West, you are traveling at the time. Besides them, I have meet others who were traveling at an even greater distance to come to work. But here is what I learned about all of them when it came to this company. They are not just working at this company to be working here but they all have worked for this company for more than 20 plus years.  So throughout the years they have transferred from one position to another which mean that they also had to transfer from one facility to another regardless of where that facility was located.

Now I have living in the Dallas area for 2 years and I have learned of areas that some of my family members who have been here for 19 -20 years have not known or knew nothing about.  With the help of DART, Uber and Lyft I have learned how to get around Dallas not only for work but also for entertainment.

Isn’t that just sad?  So not my fault that they don’t get out much. Or is it the fact that I can not keep my ass at home. (Who cares?)

Well, in my days of riding the TRE to and from Fort Worth, oi read a few books to pass the time and one of them was from my Twitter friend, Rajiv Bakshi is the author of the book “Journey from Guwahati to Machhiwara”.  The book is about his journey to work and the things he encountered at work, and also about some of journeys of his life. I enjoyed it some much that I brought two copies.

But was something to think about when looking for that next job.  How far are you willing to travel for it?

And on that note Ladies and Gentlemen, enjoy!!

My Dearest Greg,

Often I think that instead of using today’s technology to break up with my so call boyfriend that perhaps I would need to go back to the basic of writing him a break up letter.  You know the art of writing a letter is so lost in the technology that we are using today and not mention that we are forever changing the vocabulary that we have been using for years.  What would I put in the letter and what reasons would I give to end this so called imaginating relationship that we had.

This would be my letter:

My Dearest Greg,

I am writing this letter to you to explain to you with a not so heavy heart. In this letter it contain all the things that I have been wanting to say to you for some time but did not have the heart to write them on Skype. Since that was our main communication.

Let me first say and I believe that I have told you that I appreciate the fact that you always look out for me when I am on my way home. Through when I get off of the TRE across the street from your house your punk ass, when you are home, won’t invite a girl. So wrong!  Sometimes I love the fact that you tease me is such way that I truly want to snack the fuck out of you for not following thru with these teases. So hate a man who can not or do not know how to follow through on a tease. I had to buy batteries.

I do appreciate the fact that you have given me a year of good communication but that is all your ass has given me. Yeah, you did see me a few times however what I need is something your ass was not willing to give to me and that was time for companionship.  Your physique is nice and strong however the rest of you was small enough to fix in my bed.

I would not like to think of you as a male chauvinist pig who has on many occasion has left me feeling lonely.  There is a saying ‘What one man won’t do, another will.” I don’t know what it was that you would not do and at this point I do not care because you did not do it with me, and there were plenty who took your place.  Thank God for batteries.

I say “let’s go to this event or that event’, it was always no with you. So there came a point where I stop asking you became that guy that I kept in the hood while I went and played others.  I had plenty of lunch and dinner dates that did not involved you. What a shame that you choose for your unknown reasons not to hang out with an intelligent woman like me.

I know that I can be bold and direct with my words however I can also be soft with them as well. I am a given person.  Okay that is to a certain extend, let me not lie about that. I have great conversation, there is not a topic that I can not talk about or play dumb in knowing anything about it (and that is a damn shame that sometime I have to play dumb to accommodate some men’s ego.) Yours came to mind.  And speaking of damn shame since when does a man became scared of a woman. Upon being told that I was a scary woman (first let me get oven that and come to understanding that I am a scary woman). I so wanted to take off my shoes and beat his ass with it. Then he and you would understand just how scary I can be.  And that would have given me a new excuse to buy a new pair of shoes.

There are somethings that I am cable of and you will never know what they are.  You will not know how much of an amazing woman I am. You will not know what I can bring to the table to enhance your life. (I said your life and not mine because I already have do plenty in mine.) And I said bring to the table and not poison you . . . .though that would have been nice.  There are somethings that I will not mention because I do not need additional training but you do in area. Thank you God for batteries.

Look here Greg, I am a full figure woman with a brain and plenty of talent. If you did not know what to do me than you need more practice than I thought.  And again thank you God for there are batteries. And social media. . . . yes a girl can get off on social media.

So bye boy and improve your life. This girl has got to keep it moving.

**If we can only write exactly what we, and some of you do, really want to say.  Well, in a roundabout way I just did! (Smiley face with a martini!!)

Now as some of you are reading this mean break up letter, you are probably wondering why I did not use the names Tom, Dick or Harry? Well that is simple, they are always busy just like Greg.

Preparing for Natural Distasters

Would you stay in your home when you know, like everyone else in the nation knows, that a hurricane that is a category 5 heading towards state (city)? If you decided to leave, where you would go and important items would you take with you?  

I am bring these questions up because what has happen with the weather situation over in the Carolines with Hurricane Florence. But not just in the Carolines, how about what has happened in the Bahamas, Puerto Rico, Louisiana, and the southern part of Texas in Houston.  These areas has and will continue to experience more hurricanes in the months and years to come.

Some of these hurricanes like Hurricane Florence and Hurricane Harvey came with such devastations that cost which is more millions than the current Lottery, that is needed to be collective in order for those communities to rebuild again.  When you see those who are impacted by these devastations your heart either goes out to them or you are thinking “What fool would stay in the damn storm?” Though everybody has their own reason as to why they are willing to ride out storm, both literally and figuratively.

So the question that I bring to you is would you stay in your home when you know that a hurricane is coming towards your city?  Let me be sarcastic, I will not be living along the East Coast or the southern parts of any state that is connected to the Gulf of Mexico.  (Hell to the NO!!) I will go visit for 3 to 6 days but that is it. I am going to consider Garland (Dallas) safe from all major nature catastrophes for now.  And only for now.

But to further answer the question, I would leave and I would take with me all important documents such as birth certificates, divorce certificate, degrees, and other documents.  I would take some dresses, some shoes, and some jewelry. I would leave all bills and ex boyfriends there. I would also leave my ungrateful child and my shrew-ass mother or mother-in-law.  

Now where would I go is the next question that I would be ponding as I am packing.  I guess that would depend on what is in the bank account at that time, which would apply to many people. (Sidebar: as I am sitting here writing this piece, I better also make a mental note to talk to the back about an additional saving account for that reason.) I have been saying that if I move again, I would put all my things in storage and get a ticket to somewhere in Europe.  So that third question would would be that ideal place in mind at the time of the hurricane? And I will be like this would be a good time as ever to go. Maybe. If I do go, where, the exact location would be the next decision to think about. For the time being, I am going to consider Ireland, Luxembourg, Spain, and especially South Korea because of my two new boyfriends: kimchi and Soju.   

But here in the states, where would you go if you could not make it to oversea or would not consider it. (For some people getting on a plane for that length of time would be too much! I believe a new alcoholic is born with every overseas flight.)   Would you go live in the snow storms of the North like Wisconsin, Michigan and the other states up there with Canada. How about going along the West coast like California, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington states. They get a lot of fog and rain there from what I have heard. You could go to Florida, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi and Alabama, however do note that they too also get hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico. This would affect the southern part of Texas. Then again you can go to Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico and Utah where they are hotter then hot. Nevada would be my bet because you can truly become rich and go broke in one night there.  Now I know that I have not named some states and that is because I don’t know them too well. However the case, one of these states has got to be that alternative state for you to retrieve to live in when them storms come riding through.

Lastly, there is that question that can only be answer by when the huge storms and everything that come with it has passed and settled.  When you can return home to view the damage from the hurricane, 1) do you want to return home to see what is left or 2) do you care to see left is standing of your home?  If I am in Europe I would not give a rat’s ass as to what is left to be rebuilt. Because what took me years to built with my hard earn love would be destroyed in a matter of hours. My heart and mental state would be destroyed, so I could not imagine what those people are either thinking or let alone feeling when they return to home to see the destruction of their home. And to rebuilt again after again because of the storms that come thru yearly, I guest and can only guest because I have never been in those shoes, would be utmost devastating.

Now I am not really trying to make light of this tragic event but really we should think about the “what if” scenario if it should ever happen to your city or state. Are you really prepare to deal with any natural disasters that come your way?  Regardless if it is a hurricane, an earthquake, a snow storm, El Nino or a fire. Are you prepared for that and is there any way that we prepare for something like those as I described?

So, again I am bring these questions to you as to what would you do.

My Scary Moment with My Mother

What I am about to telling you would be one of the most scariest moment in my life.  It frightening me so hard that I even cried at work and I am very good about holding my expressions in. . . .sometimes.  But this was something that I was not ready to deal with nor did I ever thought that something like this could ever happen.

On this particular Tuesday was the day after I had brought my mother home from the hospital.  She had 2 slip disc in her spine repaired and aligned with screws so she was still under some influence from the medicine that she was taken.  Between my auntie Do and I we were trying to be very careful with her because of the surgery. We were seeing that everything that she would need be in her reach including her cigarettes. (Lord knows that we are trying to get rid of those things.)

I had just got home and went straight to my mother’s room where at that time she was talking to Aunt Do about bar-be-queing.   Okay, if that is what she wants to do. No point in robbing her what remaining life pleasures that she can still enjoy. She looks up at me to greet me and asking me to help her getting to the bath.  As her child, yes, I protested but I still putting my things down and went into her bathroom to start her water. Once I had her water ready, I helpped her get ready and into the tub.

My mother was conscious and alert when I said to her that I was going to run my things upstairs to my room and come back down.  She said okay, so I did exactly what I said. I ran upstairs with my bag and shoes. Threw my shoes in my closet and bag on the side of my bed.  Grab my cell phone and Kindle, and headed back down to my mother’s room.

So I was sitting my mother’s room while she was taking a bath. And I hear her having a conversation with herself.  I asked her was she okay and she respond with yes. I hear the water moving as she is washing herself.

So I am starting to play my game on the my Kindle when I noticed that she was talking any more.  I yelled out to mother “Are you I yelled again “Mom, are you okay in there?” and again I got nothing.  So I put the Kindle and go into the bathroom to see my mother passed out in the tub. I catches her head before it goes underwater and she drowns herself.

I did not have time to get emotional. The first thing that came to mind was to let the water out in the tub. That was a stretch for me since I had her head in my right and used my left hand to remove the stopper to let the water out in a long tub.  I was able to pull my mother up and get her in a sitting position in the tub where she could not fall over into the water. The water had cleared enough to where I could run to the stairs that lead to the upper floors of the townhouse and scream “Auntie Doreen”!”.  I heard auntie saying “Coming, coming!!” as I am running back to my mother in her bathroom. Along the long back I grab a few towels to help pick her up because she is covered in baby oil-like substance that made it hard to grab and lift her out of the tub.

I grab the upper part of my mom’s body while Auntie step into the tub to grab her legs.  What pissed me and my Auntie off was that fact that my mother had some much stuff in her bathroom leaving no room to room about in it. But between Auntie and I, we managed to get her out ot the bathroom and into her bed. We then tried to dried her off and put some pjs on her.  The interesting part was trying to put her diaper on. Because she was dead weight, it was really difficult to get her to stand up and put on the diaper, let alone pull it up on her. However, the case, Auntie and I got my mother dressed, ready for bed and in bed in a comfortable position.

After making sure that my mother situated, we checked to see if she was still breathing. But let me make this clear that during that time when she was passed she was able to respond to me that is how I understood that she was somewhat still with us.

My Auntie and I had to take a few minutes to collect ourselves after this.  About 10 or 15 minutes later I was overwhelmed with emotions as I was telling my girlfriend Sonia what happened.  She was shaking that I was. When I went into work and started to tell my lead admin what had happen the previous night before, I broke down in shock and the only thing I could for the rest was finished crying here and there.  Again, I was overwhelmed with emotions.

During the rest of that week and into following week I was scared to let my mother take a bath.  And she hates taking showers, she feels that she does not get clean in a shower nor can she relaxes in a shower.  “Mother! I do not want to you relaxes in a shower! I want you clean.” But eventually I give in and let her have her bath. Why? Because it is her choice in how she wishes to take care of herself.

Weeks after this event, she has twice passed out in the tube where my Auntie and I had to pick her up out of the tube and onto her bed. Recently we learned that she has been having these seizures and because she has been having them for so long that her seizure meds sometimes works.

It has now been a  few months since this has happen I can not escape the image of seeing my mother like that. Many things has come to light in regards to my mother's health, and we that she does need 24 hours care because I am now fully aware as to how often she has these seizes and it is frightened to know that there is pretty much nothing you can do because they happening way beyond her control.