My Dearest Greg,

Often I think that instead of using today’s technology to break up with my so call boyfriend that perhaps I would need to go back to the basic of writing him a break up letter.  You know the art of writing a letter is so lost in the technology that we are using today and not mention that we are forever changing the vocabulary that we have been using for years.  What would I put in the letter and what reasons would I give to end this so called imaginating relationship that we had.

This would be my letter:

My Dearest Greg,

I am writing this letter to you to explain to you with a not so heavy heart. In this letter it contain all the things that I have been wanting to say to you for some time but did not have the heart to write them on Skype. Since that was our main communication.

Let me first say and I believe that I have told you that I appreciate the fact that you always look out for me when I am on my way home. Through when I get off of the TRE across the street from your house your punk ass, when you are home, won’t invite a girl. So wrong!  Sometimes I love the fact that you tease me is such way that I truly want to snack the fuck out of you for not following thru with these teases. So hate a man who can not or do not know how to follow through on a tease. I had to buy batteries.

I do appreciate the fact that you have given me a year of good communication but that is all your ass has given me. Yeah, you did see me a few times however what I need is something your ass was not willing to give to me and that was time for companionship.  Your physique is nice and strong however the rest of you was small enough to fix in my bed.

I would not like to think of you as a male chauvinist pig who has on many occasion has left me feeling lonely.  There is a saying ‘What one man won’t do, another will.” I don’t know what it was that you would not do and at this point I do not care because you did not do it with me, and there were plenty who took your place.  Thank God for batteries.

I say “let’s go to this event or that event’, it was always no with you. So there came a point where I stop asking you became that guy that I kept in the hood while I went and played others.  I had plenty of lunch and dinner dates that did not involved you. What a shame that you choose for your unknown reasons not to hang out with an intelligent woman like me.

I know that I can be bold and direct with my words however I can also be soft with them as well. I am a given person.  Okay that is to a certain extend, let me not lie about that. I have great conversation, there is not a topic that I can not talk about or play dumb in knowing anything about it (and that is a damn shame that sometime I have to play dumb to accommodate some men’s ego.) Yours came to mind.  And speaking of damn shame since when does a man became scared of a woman. Upon being told that I was a scary woman (first let me get oven that and come to understanding that I am a scary woman). I so wanted to take off my shoes and beat his ass with it. Then he and you would understand just how scary I can be.  And that would have given me a new excuse to buy a new pair of shoes.

There are somethings that I am cable of and you will never know what they are.  You will not know how much of an amazing woman I am. You will not know what I can bring to the table to enhance your life. (I said your life and not mine because I already have do plenty in mine.) And I said bring to the table and not poison you . . . .though that would have been nice.  There are somethings that I will not mention because I do not need additional training but you do in area. Thank you God for batteries.

Look here Greg, I am a full figure woman with a brain and plenty of talent. If you did not know what to do me than you need more practice than I thought.  And again thank you God for there are batteries. And social media. . . . yes a girl can get off on social media.

So bye boy and improve your life. This girl has got to keep it moving.

**If we can only write exactly what we, and some of you do, really want to say.  Well, in a roundabout way I just did! (Smiley face with a martini!!)

Now as some of you are reading this mean break up letter, you are probably wondering why I did not use the names Tom, Dick or Harry? Well that is simple, they are always busy just like Greg.