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Being that Empty-Nester


Okay to all parents who are sitting around wondering what do I do now that the kids are gone? Surely most parents have thought about this question. “ What do we do once the kids have moved on with their lives?”  I did not have to ask that question because I could not wait for Nick to get his ass out the house and stay out!! I was feeling a new sense of freedom dancing around around the house and emptying a bottle of wine in my own celebration.  However that was me and you may have your own ideal as to what you want to do. It is just where to start, right?

I think I tired several times before I have to force him to not return.  (Well, he had already enrolled in the Army to go full time so I thought it was the perfect opportunity for him to get his shit in order).  And I am so glad that he did.

However I was already doing the empty nest thing before Nick even finished high school.  I had joined the Illinois National Guard and I was release with an honourable medical discharged.  I was 37 when I join and please don’t ask what was I thinking at that time. But I can tell you this that was the best decision that I had done for I had learned how to get myself in shape and I why should not quit something because I am tired or I feel like I can’t do it.  Going through training I learned that I can do a lot.

When Nick left home I did not have that sense of “Oh my baby is leaving me!” Mines was more of “It took you this long to leave.” followed by “Why is the hell did you come back?”  Now don’t get me wrong, most parents were in tears when that only child or that favorite child left home. But we parents have to let them spread their wings and live their life, and we are to be there for when they fall. (That was more easily written then the actual trails of events that could occur once they leave.)  Some events in our children’ lives might be similar to what we have went through in our own lives and that is where we can share some wisdom with them and perhaps give advice to other parents who might be encounting that similar problem, however there might be some events that might leave other parents shaking their heads followed by “I am so sorry that your child is crazy!”

Now we have to some parents who are not empty nesters yet, and I bet that the father is doing the countdown as to when their will leave home for good. Why? Because that child is out of his pocket!  He can now get down and dirty with the Mrs. without the kids being around. He can around to buying that motorcycle that the Mrs. will tell him to sale after 3 months. Or maybe the Mrs. might have some plans of her own like change that kid’s into her new closet for her shoes or expanding the kitchen.  Then after some time later the Mrs might say or will say “Go bail your child out of jail!” or “Pay the boy/girl’s rent this month.” or “Help him pay this month’s child support.” or something.

Isn’t that the point of being an empty nester is for your child(ren) to leave home so that they will learn to solve their own problems without them constantly going in your pocket?  You have that extra money to do whatever you want with the hubby or wife. Aren’t you as parents are suppose to be going on that romantic cruise or on that trip that you have been waiting to take?  I am sure and I am hoping that some of you did as well as current empty nesters having a bucket list made of all the things that you wanted to do, learn and try. On my bucket list is visiting Ireland, South Korea, and China. Learn how to hack(hacking) and learn to write a code. (Like I don’t already have some of cousins thinking that I work for the FBI. haha haha haha) Love it!

My Auntie said that the first thing that she wanted to do was party, and I can honestly say that she has not stop.  Get “Naked and run around the house” is a thing that most older parents said they wanted to do when their children left the house. To walk around the house in one’s boxer shorts with the Sunday newspaper in hand while sitting on the couch on a sunny Sunday afternoon waiting for the game to start. Dating freely without having the kids around to give their utmost objective expressions or the tyrant behaviors was another thing that someone wanted to do.  Have food to eat was another wish from an empty-nester. Haha haha, now I can relate to this one because Nick would sometimes come home with his friends and they eat me out of house and home. Because kids do like to eat, they might be picky, but they do eat a lot. And now that I think about it, as a empty-nester, we get to spend less time at the grocery because we are not shopping for the kids. (Lord, that is subject all by itself.) And what about the amount of laundry you don’t have to do any more! But then at a certain age they should have learned how to wash their own clothes.

All I am saying is that when the kids leave for college or whatever advantage their choose to live, let’s be there to support them (the kids) but at the same time have the ticket to have lots of fun.

“Shake your groove baby, shake your groove baby, yeah yeah!” (Peaches and Herb y’all) Show them how you do it now!”  (repeat)


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