Is it Jealousy or What?

I so need to vent and usually when I vent I often go to one of my friends, however, what I need to vent about, I am sure that maybe one or two of you are also dealing with the same thing. I have some family members that are just simply either jealous of my accomplishments or just mad that they themselves did not also reach their own potential, goals or dreams.

I am going to tell you two major things that bothers me about my family.  But first, let me give
you some insight as to where this all came from. When I was young around when I was still
in grade school, I told my grandmother that I was going to accomplish 3 things in my life: live in
Europe (actually moved to Istanbul, Turkey), become a model which I never did and I forgot
what the third thing was, however, I did accomplish it. I was also in high school when I got
pregnant with my son Nick, while I was in labor, I told my mother and my grandmother that I
would never have another. So come 2006 or 2007 and my grandmother said to me, “Vicki I be
damn if you did not set off to do what you said you were going to. You accomplished

everything you said you would except for becoming a model.”  My grandmother went on to say
that I was her accomplish maker because I always accomplish something that I said I was going to. Though I did shock everyone in the family when I got married because I swore that I will never do so.

When I got married, my ex-husband sent me to Istanbul to meet his mother and grandmother.  
I fell head over heels in love with Istanbul and its wonderful culture that I so wanted to learn
more of.  Because my heart and mind were still in Istanbul upon returning that 6 months later
we (including Nick) moved there. My family was hesitant about us moving there and some of
the members was simply not even supportive about us going.  They were like “You don’t need
to go there.” and “Why would you go there?” And since I been back occasionally I will get
“You shouldn’t have taken your ass from the beginning.”
 
So when I went to back school in 2008 and finish my Associate degree and when on to get my
Bachelor in 2013, my grandmother was even more so proud of me and grateful because she
wanted to see at least one of her 23 children graduate from college. So I made that happen for
her because grandmother only had an 8th-grade education.  Of course, all parents and
grandparents want their children or grandchildren to excessed far better than what they had
accomplished in their own life. And granted when I graduate with my Bachelor I felt like I was
on top of the world and nobody could not tell me a damn thing.

Upon living in Dallas I have been making what some members of my family would say big
money.  They contribute this to the fact that I have a college education, therefore in their mind,
I am supposed to be making more than $60,000 and that I can have any upscale job I want.
I will never forget when I moved to Dallas in September 2016 and by November 2016 I have
landed a job at Oncor, one of my younger cousins got really angry at me for getting that job
and told me to pack my bag and go back to Milwaukee. And with very contract job after that,
I would get these well-paying jobs and my cousins are like, ”Well cousin, you the money maker
of the family.”  (So hate that!)

Now my family knows that I am willing to share my knowledge with them so that they can reach
their goals/dreams.  I have offered to help them redo their resume so that they too to show what
potential they have so that they too can also get that high paying check. However, they did not
want to do that, but they are always throwing my education in my face.  And the way they say it
makes me feel guilty for getting an education. As if they are putting me on a pedestal or sometime.

As I was discussing this with one of my younger but older cousins, he explained to me that I have
always been that way in terms of thinking of yourself as if I am on a pedestal and it is okay to
think that way because you have to believe highly in yourself. And there is nothing wrong with
that because it is called self-confidence. You either have it or you don’t. And in my case, I believe
I had plenty of it and still do. Therefore I see the world as my oyster, though I would prefer grilled
fish with grilled vegetables and a really good glass of wine.

A few of my family members did get their high school diploma and a few did not and that would
also include not getting their GED.  It is heartbreaking however, that is the path which they have
chosen for themselves. I have one cousin who served in the U.S. Marines for 5 or 6 years, and
I am very proud of her.  I have a cousin who is a well known local comedian in the Dallas/Fort
Worth area, and I am very proud of him. I have a few cousins and a brother who have stable
jobs and a stable comfortable home.  Yeah, sometimes I do get jealous of them for that and
sometimes I don’t. And then I have some cousin and siblings that are just simply living one day
at a time without any care in the world, just trying to make do with life. I do not envy them at all.

I am about to say something that applies to 80% of the people on this earth: only you know

what you are capable of doing and are willing to do what you need to do to make those goals

completed. You should not have to feel guilty because you did it by pushing yourself farther in

life. You know what you are willing to endure and how much potential you have within yourself.

The other 20% are trying to understand what the meaning of life is all about. (Bless their hearts.)

It takes time for anyone to understand and reach their own potential.

No one should have to feel guilty about their accomplishments! Stand proud but not too proud. 
I am all for those who are trying to move further in their lives by doing what they need to do. I
am giving my support those who are trying to make their dreams come true regardless of what
it is and that it is all legal. I did not let or allow anyone in my family to prevent me from
accomplishing what I want to do.

Their jealousy is not my problem nor it is yours and this is what I would say to everyone else
who is also going thru something like this.

Until next time. . . .

Learning Language and Love

Okay so once again I was reading in my favorite book, The Book of Questions when I became stuck on this question:

If it was the only way you could remain with the love of your life, would you be willing for both of you to wake up tomorrow as native speakers of an unfamiliar foreign language, knowing the within a week you’d permanently forget the languages you now speak and largely be cut off from your friends and culture?  If so, what new language would you want to speak, and why?

The first thing that came to mind was who would not want a lover or have the thought of having that foreign lover who could either speak French and Italian.  I know I did and I think that is why I took up Spanish in high school for the last 2 years. Then when I got in college, I continue with my Spanish and I took up Russian, Greek and Italian. Crazy right? Considering the Greek and Russian alphabets are so similar and that Spanish and Italian have some similar words.

It was not until 9 years later when I meet my ex-husband who is Turkish.  Was I fascinated by this Turkish man? Yes, I was! And when I married him he encouraged me to learn his native language as he had learned English.  My son is fluent in Turkish with reading, writing and speaking in Turkish. I can speak conversation Turkish and I still even today enjoy listening to both pop and classical Turkish music.  

As many of you know that I am a huge fan of Asian history culture and 90% of my free time at home is spent watching Asian cinema and television. (I have to continue to watch my BigBang because of nerd in me.) From the last few years while watching I am learning to speak some Korean and Mandarin Chinese. My Korean is so much better than my Chinese however I do do a great imitation speaking of Chinese.  I got the pronunciation of sounding like I can speak Chinese but yeah, horrible at it.

With this question, I think it depends on the person and how far he/she is willing to go for their lover and whether or not the lover is open to you learning their native language.  Yes, I learned Turkish for the love of my husband and he asked me to do it so that I could communicate with his mother and grandmother. Yes, my friends, at that time in the year 2000, did not like the fact that I married him and moved to Istanbul.  In fact, they threaten to handcuffed me, tie me up and lock me up in the closet so that I would not leave the United States. Grateful that they did not do that because moving and living in Istanbul, Turkey was an amazing experience that I will never trade for anything else.  Now I am in the mindset of living in either Shanghai or South Korea with or without a lover, it would not matter to me. And my friends that I have today are so okay with me moving there because they are like they have somewhere to visit outside the United States. With one of my girlfriends who would come me after her last child finishes high school. (Girl you got three more years and you are finished!)

However Japanese has become a sexy language in its own right. And that is my opinion.

Learning a new language is up to that person and I will encourage people to learn what they want to learn whatever the topic is. When it comes to love, we all find ourselves doing the strangest things for the person we love. And we never know what we are willing to do for our love. Right?  

Some of us have done some things or made some huge sacrifices for that loved one to feel or understand that they are that important to you. Right?

So when it comes to love, only you know what will you do for that person and what you will give up for that person.

And speaking of learning another language, I am about to embark on a new adventure since I am speaking of a foreign language.  I have accepted a job in Turkey. I have been saying for years that once I have finished everything I need to do here in the states that I would like to return to Turkey or someplace else to teach English as a second language.  I know that when I get there I will learn many other new things. And now I have that opportunity, and this time I don’t have a child or husband to worry about. Am more aware of how English is becoming more and more relevant in the world of communication.

I created a Facebook Fundraiser and I am asking for your help. If you donate I greatly appreciate you and wish you many blessings and I maybe I will be able to return a favor.  If not could you please share my page with others. I am sure there is someone out there who is either thinking about or too scared to go over to that region due to what is already going on there.  I will be setting up a Youtube page to upload my experience and adventures so that others can live vicariously through me.

Until next time . . . . . .

How I Spent My Christmas Holiday

Happy New Year Y’all!!

I thought I start my first piece of the New Year with something from the past.

Remember when you were a kid and for the Christmas holiday your teacher told you to write a essay about how you spent your Christmas with your family?  Do you remember what you wrote in that essay? Can you remember what grades you were in when you had to write that essay?

I thought for fun that I write one this time because I can not tell how excited I was to be going to spend Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls. We had orginially discussed it back during Labor Day weekend, so right before Thanksgiving we had the made the plan for me to go there for Christmas official.  So the whole trip ticket for me to stay a whole week was purchased before November could even finish with itself.

By the first week for December we were discussing was to go.  I know that I want to visit the San Antonio Riverwalk. I have been to San Antonio at least 4 times and not one time did we go to the Riverwalk as we always talked about. Since I will be there for a much longer time it is on list, along with going to Texas do Brasil for dinner, going threw some well known neighborhood to see the Christmas lights and somewhere during the week we are going ice skating. (So can not wait to bust my ass with this event!)

I will be there to celebrate my birthday and so I thinking a cake, dinner and girls’ silliness.  Nope!!! Harry and Michelle calls during week 2 in December to let me know that they got something big planned and that I need to have evening wear for a night on the town. As much as my ass shop, I did not think about purchasing evening wear or anything to wear for New Year’s, which Harry and Michelle insist that I stay longer to attend a New Year’s Eve party with them. And I just couldn’t say “No!”  (Feeling guilty before it all starts)

So the ride to San Antonio went smooth and late as usually, but that is okay.  Upon arrival at the house, the outside was bright with festival Christmas lights, however when I walked inside it was another thing and I did not have any sunglasses with me.  More festival Christmas stuff than I could even image. I mean the decorations that were in Harry and Michelle’s house was something that I have not seen since my Grandmother when we used to live on Eggleston St in Chicago. (Those were the go days!) I counted four Christmas trees, including a pink Christmas tree, in the house and decorations where ever in almost ever rooms in the house, this is including the bedrooms and two of the three bathrooms.  Christmas stockings over the fireplace and three stockings on the wall, one for each dog in the house: Fifi, Houston, and Bella. Again I have not seen this amount of gifts since Christmas on Eggleston St., with most of the gifts going to the kids as usually. And the scents of Christmas through out the house.

From December 22 - January 2, we went to dinner at other people’s house for dinner. We drove around Windcrest for look at the beautiful decorations, and yes, I too video and pictures.  We had a lot of baking which lead to a lot washing dishes. (Trust me when I say that my hand are beyond the Palmolive Hands for dish wash.) Again it reminded me of days of living in my grandparents' house on Eggleston St. in Chicago. And finish the time there with New Year’s Eve at Harry and Michelle’s friends’s house with some amazing people, and we realizes just how old we are to try stay up. It was cute and hilarious in enjoy that evening. Now somewhere during these days, Bella decided to redecorate the house with things that she thought were appropriate. (That is truly a story for another time.)

Also during that time, I have managed to eat more tamales than I have ever eaten in my life time. With each tamale, I eat a different kind with amazing favor. And come to find out that tamales is a regular dish in the San Antonio area.  So WOW to that factor and to eat some of the other amazing food that I got to eat.

Spending Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls made me realizes what I missed most about spending Christmas with my family and what I do not miss about spending Christmas with my family. And there were a lot of don'ts!

Until next time. . . .

Family Drama

Hello everyone,

I know the that year is coming to an end and everyone is busy with Christmas coming and the New Year coming, oh there is just so much coming at once.

I am so happy to get away this coming Christmas that I can not possibility can not find a way to put it all in writing.  If you did not have family drama during Thanksgiving then it is waiting for you for Christmas.

And don’t you just love when you have to deal with family drama? Like parties involved expect you to be involve or they get mad because you try to apply some rationality to the situation that they are either not able to see or not willing to admit the solution.This is the killer part ladies and gentlemen, both parties or all parties believe that they are right.

Here is anything that is amazing about family drama: if you voice your opinion they get mad at you. And stay mad at you! Am I right?

Y’all I got family drama in the house but then again when is there never drama in the house.  Uncle against uncle, sister against sister, sister against brother, daughter against mother and sometimes younger uncle.  And what are we fighting about in the house? Probably about some of the same things that is happening in everyone else’s house: who did not clean the kitchen?, where is your share of the rent and utilities, wash your ass, take your ass to work, etc.

Actually how long does family drama last? Does family drama ever ends? In out house never thought we do keep the peace by everyone staying in their own room. Sometimes.

Can’t everyone just get along for the holidays and have some fun? Look, there are people in the whole who are in a much difficult situation than your family drama. Each day we hear something horrible from news and it is often heartbreaking.  Family drama is not heartbreaking but malicious. You lose your blessings and those blessing are very valuable.

So for this Christmas, for those of you who are a war with that certain family members, open your heart and give forgiveness. And together with that person walk into the New Year with new understanding and love.

To everyone around the whole, I wish a Merry Christmas and joyful Happy New Year.  And may we all ask the Lord to let us have a better year in 2019 than what we had in 2018.

See y’all in the New Year.

Being that Empty-Nester

Okay to all parents who are sitting around wondering what do I do now that the kids are gone? Surely most parents have thought about this question. “ What do we do once the kids have moved on with their lives?”  I did not have to ask that question because I could not wait for Nick to get his ass out the house and stay out!! I was feeling a new sense of freedom dancing around around the house and emptying a bottle of wine in my own celebration.  However that was me and you may have your own ideal as to what you want to do. It is just where to start, right?

I think I tired several times before I have to force him to not return.  (Well, he had already enrolled in the Army to go full time so I thought it was the perfect opportunity for him to get his shit in order).  And I am so glad that he did.

However I was already doing the empty nest thing before Nick even finished high school.  I had joined the Illinois National Guard and I was release with an honourable medical discharged.  I was 37 when I join and please don’t ask what was I thinking at that time. But I can tell you this that was the best decision that I had done for I had learned how to get myself in shape and I why should not quit something because I am tired or I feel like I can’t do it.  Going through training I learned that I can do a lot.

When Nick left home I did not have that sense of “Oh my baby is leaving me!” Mines was more of “It took you this long to leave.” followed by “Why is the hell did you come back?”  Now don’t get me wrong, most parents were in tears when that only child or that favorite child left home. But we parents have to let them spread their wings and live their life, and we are to be there for when they fall. (That was more easily written then the actual trails of events that could occur once they leave.)  Some events in our children’ lives might be similar to what we have went through in our own lives and that is where we can share some wisdom with them and perhaps give advice to other parents who might be encounting that similar problem, however there might be some events that might leave other parents shaking their heads followed by “I am so sorry that your child is crazy!”

Now we have to some parents who are not empty nesters yet, and I bet that the father is doing the countdown as to when their will leave home for good. Why? Because that child is out of his pocket!  He can now get down and dirty with the Mrs. without the kids being around. He can around to buying that motorcycle that the Mrs. will tell him to sale after 3 months. Or maybe the Mrs. might have some plans of her own like change that kid’s into her new closet for her shoes or expanding the kitchen.  Then after some time later the Mrs might say or will say “Go bail your child out of jail!” or “Pay the boy/girl’s rent this month.” or “Help him pay this month’s child support.” or something.

Isn’t that the point of being an empty nester is for your child(ren) to leave home so that they will learn to solve their own problems without them constantly going in your pocket?  You have that extra money to do whatever you want with the hubby or wife. Aren’t you as parents are suppose to be going on that romantic cruise or on that trip that you have been waiting to take?  I am sure and I am hoping that some of you did as well as current empty nesters having a bucket list made of all the things that you wanted to do, learn and try. On my bucket list is visiting Ireland, South Korea, and China. Learn how to hack(hacking) and learn to write a code. (Like I don’t already have some of cousins thinking that I work for the FBI. haha haha haha) Love it!

My Auntie said that the first thing that she wanted to do was party, and I can honestly say that she has not stop.  Get “Naked and run around the house” is a thing that most older parents said they wanted to do when their children left the house. To walk around the house in one’s boxer shorts with the Sunday newspaper in hand while sitting on the couch on a sunny Sunday afternoon waiting for the game to start. Dating freely without having the kids around to give their utmost objective expressions or the tyrant behaviors was another thing that someone wanted to do.  Have food to eat was another wish from an empty-nester. Haha haha, now I can relate to this one because Nick would sometimes come home with his friends and they eat me out of house and home. Because kids do like to eat, they might be picky, but they do eat a lot. And now that I think about it, as a empty-nester, we get to spend less time at the grocery because we are not shopping for the kids. (Lord, that is subject all by itself.) And what about the amount of laundry you don’t have to do any more! But then at a certain age they should have learned how to wash their own clothes.

All I am saying is that when the kids leave for college or whatever advantage their choose to live, let’s be there to support them (the kids) but at the same time have the ticket to have lots of fun.

“Shake your groove baby, shake your groove baby, yeah yeah!” (Peaches and Herb y’all) Show them how you do it now!”  (repeat)

Work Locations (Would you travel for work?)

In all my 20 years as a contractor I have spent most of that traveling to and from a job from one location to another with one or more cities.  So I am asking you how far would you travel or are willing to travel for a job?

So what prompt me to write this piece was one I was on the last bus for home and there was this lady young who was still young in her mind. There was also a third person in this conversation and she was able the same age as I am.  Anyway, somehow our conversation went to where do you work at? So the young explained that she worked at Walmart, not in our neighborhood but somewhere else. She ask asked the other older woman where she was calling from her job and the other woman responded with that she was traveling from Addison, Texas for her job.  And when the young lady ask me where job was, I explained that I worked in Fort Worth (that is 42 miles in distance). Then the young lady responsed to both of us “There is no way in hell I would travel for any job regardless of the pay”. (Please keep in mind that she was 21 yrs old, she is still young.)

When it come to work, most of us know that you have to go where the money is. Or for other reason we choose to accept a job, and it may not be about the money but the job opportunity or status in which it holds.  We get to that job by any means whether it is by car, bus, train, or plane like what Tom Joyner did when he traveled from Atlanta to Chicago to do his show in the late 1990's or like today with Mr. Steve Harvey. (But some us don’t have Tom Joyner’s or Steve Harvey’s money.)

If you have been to Chicago t hen you know they have a huge transportation system in place that runs 24 hours with the exception of the Metra which starts running around 4 a.m. to about 1 a.m. depending on which line you are riding at the time.  In Milwaukee, their first bus run is around 5 something in the morning with the last bus running in the 1 a.m. and Dallas has the same time system as Milwuakee however Dallas DART system can be compared to that of Chicago.

Why did I add that part in about the cities? Because I don’t have car and I have never brought a car, and I did not let that be my excuse as to why I could not get around for work.  Those with a car, some of them will not be willing to even travel a distance for a job. But they will to go shopping. People keep asking if I am ever going to get around to buying a car. Mostly not however I will get faster than getting a specific other in live.

I would say that I have spent most of my 20 years as a contractor traveling to from point to point for work.  While living in Chicago, most on my assignments were within the downtown area. I would get one or two jobs that would call for going to one of nearest suburbs like Naperville or Joliet.  I once had several positions for Pearson Education which was located in Glenview, IL. I had to literally travel through the Chicagoland and past several small towns to get to Glenview by Metra. That was some 30 miles at one point that I had traveled for work. My last assignment at Pearson Education, I was traveling from Milwaukee, WI to Glenview, Il and to go from Glenview to Chicago from school and ended my day by traveling from Chicago to Milwaukee.

Was I tired during that last assignment at Pearson? Yes, I was.

While temping at my last assignment, I met a co worker who lived in Waxahachie, Texas and came to work in Fort Worth, Texas, that is some 38 miles between the two cities. There was another worker who lived in Forney, Texas which is about 50 - 53 miles depending on which way, East or West, you are traveling at the time. Besides them, I have meet others who were traveling at an even greater distance to come to work. But here is what I learned about all of them when it came to this company. They are not just working at this company to be working here but they all have worked for this company for more than 20 plus years.  So throughout the years they have transferred from one position to another which mean that they also had to transfer from one facility to another regardless of where that facility was located.

Now I have living in the Dallas area for 2 years and I have learned of areas that some of my family members who have been here for 19 -20 years have not known or knew nothing about.  With the help of DART, Uber and Lyft I have learned how to get around Dallas not only for work but also for entertainment.

Isn’t that just sad?  So not my fault that they don’t get out much. Or is it the fact that I can not keep my ass at home. (Who cares?)

Well, in my days of riding the TRE to and from Fort Worth, oi read a few books to pass the time and one of them was from my Twitter friend, Rajiv Bakshi is the author of the book “Journey from Guwahati to Machhiwara”.  The book is about his journey to work and the things he encountered at work, and also about some of journeys of his life. I enjoyed it some much that I brought two copies.

But was something to think about when looking for that next job.  How far are you willing to travel for it?

And on that note Ladies and Gentlemen, enjoy!!

My Dearest Greg,

Often I think that instead of using today’s technology to break up with my so call boyfriend that perhaps I would need to go back to the basic of writing him a break up letter.  You know the art of writing a letter is so lost in the technology that we are using today and not mention that we are forever changing the vocabulary that we have been using for years.  What would I put in the letter and what reasons would I give to end this so called imaginating relationship that we had.

This would be my letter:

My Dearest Greg,

I am writing this letter to you to explain to you with a not so heavy heart. In this letter it contain all the things that I have been wanting to say to you for some time but did not have the heart to write them on Skype. Since that was our main communication.

Let me first say and I believe that I have told you that I appreciate the fact that you always look out for me when I am on my way home. Through when I get off of the TRE across the street from your house your punk ass, when you are home, won’t invite a girl. So wrong!  Sometimes I love the fact that you tease me is such way that I truly want to snack the fuck out of you for not following thru with these teases. So hate a man who can not or do not know how to follow through on a tease. I had to buy batteries.

I do appreciate the fact that you have given me a year of good communication but that is all your ass has given me. Yeah, you did see me a few times however what I need is something your ass was not willing to give to me and that was time for companionship.  Your physique is nice and strong however the rest of you was small enough to fix in my bed.

I would not like to think of you as a male chauvinist pig who has on many occasion has left me feeling lonely.  There is a saying ‘What one man won’t do, another will.” I don’t know what it was that you would not do and at this point I do not care because you did not do it with me, and there were plenty who took your place.  Thank God for batteries.

I say “let’s go to this event or that event’, it was always no with you. So there came a point where I stop asking you became that guy that I kept in the hood while I went and played others.  I had plenty of lunch and dinner dates that did not involved you. What a shame that you choose for your unknown reasons not to hang out with an intelligent woman like me.

I know that I can be bold and direct with my words however I can also be soft with them as well. I am a given person.  Okay that is to a certain extend, let me not lie about that. I have great conversation, there is not a topic that I can not talk about or play dumb in knowing anything about it (and that is a damn shame that sometime I have to play dumb to accommodate some men’s ego.) Yours came to mind.  And speaking of damn shame since when does a man became scared of a woman. Upon being told that I was a scary woman (first let me get oven that and come to understanding that I am a scary woman). I so wanted to take off my shoes and beat his ass with it. Then he and you would understand just how scary I can be.  And that would have given me a new excuse to buy a new pair of shoes.

There are somethings that I am cable of and you will never know what they are.  You will not know how much of an amazing woman I am. You will not know what I can bring to the table to enhance your life. (I said your life and not mine because I already have do plenty in mine.) And I said bring to the table and not poison you . . . .though that would have been nice.  There are somethings that I will not mention because I do not need additional training but you do in area. Thank you God for batteries.

Look here Greg, I am a full figure woman with a brain and plenty of talent. If you did not know what to do me than you need more practice than I thought.  And again thank you God for there are batteries. And social media. . . . yes a girl can get off on social media.

So bye boy and improve your life. This girl has got to keep it moving.

**If we can only write exactly what we, and some of you do, really want to say.  Well, in a roundabout way I just did! (Smiley face with a martini!!)

Now as some of you are reading this mean break up letter, you are probably wondering why I did not use the names Tom, Dick or Harry? Well that is simple, they are always busy just like Greg.