What is in my purse?

So for those who know real well, know that I seldomly carry a small purse. Now before your men get turn off and move on to next thing to read, you should really pay attention to this and read this because not knowing what is in a woman purse can be detrimental to your health.  First know that different between a purse and a hand bag: a purse is smaller, a clutch is smaller than a purse and a hand bag can kick your ass.  A woman's life in that bag/purse, and let me further explain.

In my very big black bag, I have in it:

• A large tube of moisturizing body balm, can not have dry crackling hands.  
• A red wallet with all my club cards in it, a couple pic of Nick, driving license, and cash. 
• A gold pouch with lipstick, lip tinter, lip balmer, vitamin oil for my toes, rewetting drop for my eyes, Avon powder for my face, and my inhaler.
• A red pouch and inside it is my sun glasses, extra pair of headphones, a couple of pens and some post-it in case I need to write and leave an emergency note.
• A red very small red case for an extra set of contact lens.
• A bottle of Mult-purpose Disinfecting Solution for my contact lens; this is a 2 fl. oz., no biggy.
• Sony headphone to tone everyone else out.
• A bottle of Ibuprofen for just in case moments.
• Purell instead hand sanitizer which I think everyone should be carrying.
• A bag of Halls Defense and a bag of Halls, need to stay healthy.
• Ice breakers, for those moments.
• My Epipen, can not leave home without that, EVER!
• A red eyeglass with actual prescription glasses, in case I do not want to continue wearing my contact lens.
• My tablet with its case, one of two ways of keeping up with social media while in the streets.
• A small red notebook for notes.
• An emergency cell phone charger.
• A black card holder with my cards, trying to put my writing out there.
• A red umbrella and a scarf for a quick thrown on accessory with my outfit. 
• And a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume, appropriately titled Victoria!

Now understand this gentlemen, though items listed above are in my purse now, that can all change tomorrow depending on what I am going wear.  Pay attention gentlemen, most women change their bag according to their outfits.  Yes we (referring to us women and a few other girlfriends and y'all know who in the hell I am talking about) always must accessorizes.  Yes what is in my bag does not mean that it will bag in other women's bags, well maybe a third of it will.  But do know that some women carry more makeup, will have several pieces of clothing and a pair of shoes in their bag.  And you will NEVER know it. 

Now I would like to have in my bag is something I can pull out in case of "I need a man" moment.  Ladies you know: he will be taller than you with a nice body, pretty bewitch eyes and very kissable lips. . . . never mind!  That is why that boy from Ireland is grounded now, and will stay grounded until he becomes ugly. (Got the angry face here!)

And gentlemen have you ever notice how us women carry our bags around?  You notice how she just fling its around like it is paper.  Trust me we are just waiting for a moment to knock your ass into 2026 for just thinking the wrong thing or for looking at that other chick when you should be paying attention to her.  And while you are looking at the size of our purse, you should wonder if we got a pair pliers or knife in that bag.  Hell if it is bag enough she might pull out a chainsaw out on your ass.  But then it might be small enough to carry a brick in to do just enough damage for you to get some stitches and new set of common sense. (We can only wish!)

Gentlemen, just be aware of our purse!  It can be your friend or enemy and now that it is October . . . .the worst thing we got in our purse is a bag a chocolate.  Well I got cashews, some Thai bites and Snickerdoodle dip with cinnamon pretzel sticks.  (I am not a fan of chocolate!)

Coming this month in October. . .

I can not believe that we are in October already!  Yes I am freaking out because my finals for this term is in 3 weeks, along with Halloween! How many of concern October the beautiful month or the scary month? Now look here it can only be one of the two choice and I am going to ask you some questions that you should think about or at least ask that crazy girl at work these questions.

Do you love it when right about this time the color of the leaves start to change to yellow, then orange, then red, and then brown?

Do you love it when stores start advertising for Halloween and October has not came yet?

Do you love it when you notice that the temperature starts to change to chilly to cold?

Do you love it that television land starts the 31 Days of Freight Feast on October 1?

Do you find yourself drinking more beer in October than any other months?

Do you find yourself just driving around looking a the beautiful scenery that fall has to offer?

Don't you just hate it that Wes Craven is no longer here to continue his regimen of terror on us?

Don't you just hate it that when you finally go to pick out your Halloween costume there is not one in your size?

Don't you just hate it the Freddie can still pop up in your damn dreams? 

Don't you just hate it that all the scary movies that you seem before can still scared the beejesus out of you?

Don't you just hate it that you did not bring a bigger bag of all that Halloween candy?

For those of you who have hard wood floor, don't you just hate it that you are now walking on clod floors and that they are going to get even colder?

Don't you just hate it when the neighbor hood bully takes all your Snickers out of your Halloween bag?

Don't you just hate it when now is the time for you to be changing your summer wardrobe for the fall and winter wardrobe?

Don't you just love it when all the crazy people in your office comes around to pass out Halloween candy and one or two of them actually do frighten you?

Don't you just hate it that when you go into a haunted house and you know what to aspect, yet you still jump from fear?

Ladies are you like me and love the deep red colors along with to gold, browns, and teal that comes out with the fall fashion?

Some of y'all may not know this, but for those of you who drive everyday for one reason or other, and come across those drivers whom you say don't know how to drive . . . . . . That is Your Halloween on a daily basis!

I can probably guess what some of you are going to say, however let me say this. . . . . there ain't no way in hell of present time that I am going to watch a scary movie in this month.  Not without 7, 9, 12, 15, 18 bottles of wine.  Per movie!

Ladies and gentlemen, have a fun month with October.  Instead of drinking beer, drink hard apple cider and pretend to be drunk, that way you don't get a ticket from the po po (that's police to some of you unknowns).  Guys find the scariness haunted house that you can find that way she can see you jump. (Hahahaha!)   Ladies, take a picture of your favorite relative, have it blown up to a mask, wear it for Halloween, then see how they react! (I got a little cousin name Spook. Yes, I know what you are thinking and that is why I am going to use his face for Halloween.) Haha haha haha!