When I was a kid, I often heard my grandfather give my uncles, my brothers, and male cousins some good advice on a variety of things. From handy ideals in construction to how to treat your woman right, granddaddy always had advice to give even when you did not want to hear it.
My grandfather, Wayne Johnson, thought that he was only guru around or at least of Eggleston Street in Chicago. Whatever you were doing was wrong according to him and he made appoint to show you the proper way of doing things. Granddaddy usually said that things always had to be right the first time so you would have to redo it again. And in most cases he was always right.
As a kid I often heard my grandfather give advice on women to male family members. One time he said to men of the family, "I wouldn't want you guys to grow up stupid!" And they still did.
Accordingly to grandfather depending on what news that you tell her will determine what action she might take against you. For example, if she is in the kitchen and she is cooking, and you came home and told her that you lost your job. You might get some sympathy, you might get some "Aw babe, we will be okay!" or you might her going upside your head asking you "what the hell did you do to lose your job?"
But if you came home and she was in the kitchen cooking you dinner, and you decided to tell her about your affair and that from this affair a child was born. Two things can happen to you: one, if she remains cool while still cooking then you would most likely get to have diarrhea and some heavy curse words. However she will most likely she will kick your ass later. Or two, if she is still remaining calm while cooking than she might mixing a special blend that you kill your butt. Somewhere in there you might want to dunk from the flying knives that she is throwing at your head. (Sidebar: Have you even notice that a woman's aim is always good when she is mad at you? She never miss that body part that she want to do the most damage to.)
At the same time, have you notice that when she wants to tell you something she always cooks your favorite meals. You know that roast beef with mashed potatoes and fried corn. And lets not forget the gravy! It be so good that an hour later you notice that the sink is missing! See us women are smart at knowing when and how to tell our man the bad news. (Nope not me, I will tell his butt and let him figure it out later! Need to keep it moving.)
I remember my grandfather also telling the male family members DO NOT EVER FIGHT WITH HER IN THE KITCHEN! Can you image the non structural damage that can be done when your woman snap while she is in the kitchen? You know her behavior and you are going to test it while she is in the kitchen? Now I have seen my grandparents argue in the kitchen with my grandfather usually leaving the kitchen. My grandfather was no damn dummy when it came to my grandmother. Of course grandmother had plenty of pots and pans hanging around in designer kitchen which he built for her. Say something wrong and don't think she wouldn't. I can still hear them especially grandmother saying "Wayne L. Johnson, if you don't get your ass out of my kitchen!"
At that time I did not thinking it was so serious until the one day while living in Istanbul, my ex-husband and I were in his mother's kitchen having a argument and the only thing that came out of my mouth when he raised his hand to slap me was "I know where everything is in this kitchen. Don't I think I won't lay your ass out!" Looking him dead in his eyes, all he could do was stand there like a statue. Because he was thinking, serious thinking and all say after that was "go home!" An hour later my ex-husband came to me and we kiss and made up, however he did told me that he truly believe that would have laid his ass out.
Lord and behold my grandfather's advice is right, because other than the kitchen, the other place a man should never argue with his woman at is the bedroom closet. If she is in or next her that closet, it is a wrap! We have high heels shoes of all kind!
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