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May baby!!!!

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May is here people and we know what that means, right?  Mother’s Day is coming!!!  Who like me has a list of mothers that they too wish to find a great gift for?

May 1st Law Day since I have ever broken the law, can I used this day to do so?

May 2nd National Life Insurance Day which goes well with National Truffle Day because that is a good reason to die by chocolate. And if that day for chocolate does not work well for you, then consider,  

May 3rd National Chocolate Custard Day! (I am just saying!)  For all teckies out there May 3rd is also National SAN Architect Day, which reminds me to update my MS Visio to create one.  Plus it is National Two Different Colored Shoes Day.  This is so fashionable incorrected!

May 4th will have a more specific meaning to it so it will be National Star Wars Day, hence “May the force be with you!”  This day is shared with National Orange Juice Day, which I don’t mind as long as it also involves Vodka.

May 5th Cinco de Mayo, I am ready trying to create a good ass excuse to NOT go to work that day.

May 8th is Mother’s Day.  Please tell me that you all have found or in the process of getting a good gift for your mother or made arrangement for flowers to be flowers to be deliver or made reservation at a special restaurant.  Okay, these are ideals so get your own for Mother’s Day.

May 9th is National Lost Sock Memorial Day.  I guess on this day all those single socks that you have in draw waiting to find the long lost single probably dirty again sock, put them in a shoe box and go bury the box in a good fashion.

May 11th is National Third Shift Workers Day.  Do we even celebrate First and Second shift or did we move them to get to Third?

May 13th is National Apple Pie Day, so go ahead and eat that pie. On this day it is also National Blame Someone Else Day that way you can blame it on “I don’t know!” for it the missing piece of the pie since he is the one person that you cannot claim on their income taxes.

May 15th is National Nylon Stoking Day, though I and about 95% of women have stop wearing them, however we still know to use them to rope you suckers (men!) into doing whatever we you do.

May 16th is National Piercing Day.  I can run in so many different ways with this one and only because some piercing are exotic and extremely sexual. (I am just saying!)

May 18th is National No Dirty Dishes Day: this will never exist in my current home.  However when I move into my new place in September I will enjoying the shit out of this day!

May 20th is National Be a Millionaire Day.  For me this will only happen in Turkey.  Because the joke is that everyone is a Millionaire. $1 dollar = 1 million lira! So my 10 million Turkish lira will buy me lunch with a beer.  It is also National Pia Party Day, which is even better because I can get 3 Turkish pizza with my 10 million Turkish lira.

May 22nd is National Vanilla Pudding Day

May 24th is National Escargot Day

May 25th is National Wine Day, though I do have a glass or 4 per week.

May 28th is National Brisket Day and National Hamburger Day. Now with this day and the four that I just mention before, as I was writing this I felt 25 pounds being add to my hips and ass.


May 31st is National Speak in Sentences Day.  “What?” There it is ladies and gentlemen, my noun, my subject and my verb?

Well everyone, I see that i have a busy month and I am sure most of you will be busy with graduation, prom, 8th grade trips, and Mother's Day.  

I got a new semester to fight with.  Until next time..

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