Is it Jealousy or What?

I so need to vent and usually when I vent I often go to one of my friends, however, what I need to vent about, I am sure that maybe one or two of you are also dealing with the same thing. I have some family members that are just simply either jealous of my accomplishments or just mad that they themselves did not also reach their own potential, goals or dreams.

I am going to tell you two major things that bothers me about my family.  But first, let me give
you some insight as to where this all came from. When I was young around when I was still
in grade school, I told my grandmother that I was going to accomplish 3 things in my life: live in
Europe (actually moved to Istanbul, Turkey), become a model which I never did and I forgot
what the third thing was, however, I did accomplish it. I was also in high school when I got
pregnant with my son Nick, while I was in labor, I told my mother and my grandmother that I
would never have another. So come 2006 or 2007 and my grandmother said to me, “Vicki I be
damn if you did not set off to do what you said you were going to. You accomplished

everything you said you would except for becoming a model.”  My grandmother went on to say
that I was her accomplish maker because I always accomplish something that I said I was going to. Though I did shock everyone in the family when I got married because I swore that I will never do so.

When I got married, my ex-husband sent me to Istanbul to meet his mother and grandmother.  
I fell head over heels in love with Istanbul and its wonderful culture that I so wanted to learn
more of.  Because my heart and mind were still in Istanbul upon returning that 6 months later
we (including Nick) moved there. My family was hesitant about us moving there and some of
the members was simply not even supportive about us going.  They were like “You don’t need
to go there.” and “Why would you go there?” And since I been back occasionally I will get
“You shouldn’t have taken your ass from the beginning.”
 
So when I went to back school in 2008 and finish my Associate degree and when on to get my
Bachelor in 2013, my grandmother was even more so proud of me and grateful because she
wanted to see at least one of her 23 children graduate from college. So I made that happen for
her because grandmother only had an 8th-grade education.  Of course, all parents and
grandparents want their children or grandchildren to excessed far better than what they had
accomplished in their own life. And granted when I graduate with my Bachelor I felt like I was
on top of the world and nobody could not tell me a damn thing.

Upon living in Dallas I have been making what some members of my family would say big
money.  They contribute this to the fact that I have a college education, therefore in their mind,
I am supposed to be making more than $60,000 and that I can have any upscale job I want.
I will never forget when I moved to Dallas in September 2016 and by November 2016 I have
landed a job at Oncor, one of my younger cousins got really angry at me for getting that job
and told me to pack my bag and go back to Milwaukee. And with very contract job after that,
I would get these well-paying jobs and my cousins are like, ”Well cousin, you the money maker
of the family.”  (So hate that!)

Now my family knows that I am willing to share my knowledge with them so that they can reach
their goals/dreams.  I have offered to help them redo their resume so that they too to show what
potential they have so that they too can also get that high paying check. However, they did not
want to do that, but they are always throwing my education in my face.  And the way they say it
makes me feel guilty for getting an education. As if they are putting me on a pedestal or sometime.

As I was discussing this with one of my younger but older cousins, he explained to me that I have
always been that way in terms of thinking of yourself as if I am on a pedestal and it is okay to
think that way because you have to believe highly in yourself. And there is nothing wrong with
that because it is called self-confidence. You either have it or you don’t. And in my case, I believe
I had plenty of it and still do. Therefore I see the world as my oyster, though I would prefer grilled
fish with grilled vegetables and a really good glass of wine.

A few of my family members did get their high school diploma and a few did not and that would
also include not getting their GED.  It is heartbreaking however, that is the path which they have
chosen for themselves. I have one cousin who served in the U.S. Marines for 5 or 6 years, and
I am very proud of her.  I have a cousin who is a well known local comedian in the Dallas/Fort
Worth area, and I am very proud of him. I have a few cousins and a brother who have stable
jobs and a stable comfortable home.  Yeah, sometimes I do get jealous of them for that and
sometimes I don’t. And then I have some cousin and siblings that are just simply living one day
at a time without any care in the world, just trying to make do with life. I do not envy them at all.

I am about to say something that applies to 80% of the people on this earth: only you know

what you are capable of doing and are willing to do what you need to do to make those goals

completed. You should not have to feel guilty because you did it by pushing yourself farther in

life. You know what you are willing to endure and how much potential you have within yourself.

The other 20% are trying to understand what the meaning of life is all about. (Bless their hearts.)

It takes time for anyone to understand and reach their own potential.

No one should have to feel guilty about their accomplishments! Stand proud but not too proud. 
I am all for those who are trying to move further in their lives by doing what they need to do. I
am giving my support those who are trying to make their dreams come true regardless of what
it is and that it is all legal. I did not let or allow anyone in my family to prevent me from
accomplishing what I want to do.

Their jealousy is not my problem nor it is yours and this is what I would say to everyone else
who is also going thru something like this.

Until next time. . . .

Learning Language and Love

Okay so once again I was reading in my favorite book, The Book of Questions when I became stuck on this question:

If it was the only way you could remain with the love of your life, would you be willing for both of you to wake up tomorrow as native speakers of an unfamiliar foreign language, knowing the within a week you’d permanently forget the languages you now speak and largely be cut off from your friends and culture?  If so, what new language would you want to speak, and why?

The first thing that came to mind was who would not want a lover or have the thought of having that foreign lover who could either speak French and Italian.  I know I did and I think that is why I took up Spanish in high school for the last 2 years. Then when I got in college, I continue with my Spanish and I took up Russian, Greek and Italian. Crazy right? Considering the Greek and Russian alphabets are so similar and that Spanish and Italian have some similar words.

It was not until 9 years later when I meet my ex-husband who is Turkish.  Was I fascinated by this Turkish man? Yes, I was! And when I married him he encouraged me to learn his native language as he had learned English.  My son is fluent in Turkish with reading, writing and speaking in Turkish. I can speak conversation Turkish and I still even today enjoy listening to both pop and classical Turkish music.  

As many of you know that I am a huge fan of Asian history culture and 90% of my free time at home is spent watching Asian cinema and television. (I have to continue to watch my BigBang because of nerd in me.) From the last few years while watching I am learning to speak some Korean and Mandarin Chinese. My Korean is so much better than my Chinese however I do do a great imitation speaking of Chinese.  I got the pronunciation of sounding like I can speak Chinese but yeah, horrible at it.

With this question, I think it depends on the person and how far he/she is willing to go for their lover and whether or not the lover is open to you learning their native language.  Yes, I learned Turkish for the love of my husband and he asked me to do it so that I could communicate with his mother and grandmother. Yes, my friends, at that time in the year 2000, did not like the fact that I married him and moved to Istanbul.  In fact, they threaten to handcuffed me, tie me up and lock me up in the closet so that I would not leave the United States. Grateful that they did not do that because moving and living in Istanbul, Turkey was an amazing experience that I will never trade for anything else.  Now I am in the mindset of living in either Shanghai or South Korea with or without a lover, it would not matter to me. And my friends that I have today are so okay with me moving there because they are like they have somewhere to visit outside the United States. With one of my girlfriends who would come me after her last child finishes high school. (Girl you got three more years and you are finished!)

However Japanese has become a sexy language in its own right. And that is my opinion.

Learning a new language is up to that person and I will encourage people to learn what they want to learn whatever the topic is. When it comes to love, we all find ourselves doing the strangest things for the person we love. And we never know what we are willing to do for our love. Right?  

Some of us have done some things or made some huge sacrifices for that loved one to feel or understand that they are that important to you. Right?

So when it comes to love, only you know what will you do for that person and what you will give up for that person.

And speaking of learning another language, I am about to embark on a new adventure since I am speaking of a foreign language.  I have accepted a job in Turkey. I have been saying for years that once I have finished everything I need to do here in the states that I would like to return to Turkey or someplace else to teach English as a second language.  I know that when I get there I will learn many other new things. And now I have that opportunity, and this time I don’t have a child or husband to worry about. Am more aware of how English is becoming more and more relevant in the world of communication.

I created a Facebook Fundraiser and I am asking for your help. If you donate I greatly appreciate you and wish you many blessings and I maybe I will be able to return a favor.  If not could you please share my page with others. I am sure there is someone out there who is either thinking about or too scared to go over to that region due to what is already going on there.  I will be setting up a Youtube page to upload my experience and adventures so that others can live vicariously through me.

Until next time . . . . . .

How I Spent My Christmas Holiday

Happy New Year Y’all!!

I thought I start my first piece of the New Year with something from the past.

Remember when you were a kid and for the Christmas holiday your teacher told you to write a essay about how you spent your Christmas with your family?  Do you remember what you wrote in that essay? Can you remember what grades you were in when you had to write that essay?

I thought for fun that I write one this time because I can not tell how excited I was to be going to spend Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls. We had orginially discussed it back during Labor Day weekend, so right before Thanksgiving we had the made the plan for me to go there for Christmas official.  So the whole trip ticket for me to stay a whole week was purchased before November could even finish with itself.

By the first week for December we were discussing was to go.  I know that I want to visit the San Antonio Riverwalk. I have been to San Antonio at least 4 times and not one time did we go to the Riverwalk as we always talked about. Since I will be there for a much longer time it is on list, along with going to Texas do Brasil for dinner, going threw some well known neighborhood to see the Christmas lights and somewhere during the week we are going ice skating. (So can not wait to bust my ass with this event!)

I will be there to celebrate my birthday and so I thinking a cake, dinner and girls’ silliness.  Nope!!! Harry and Michelle calls during week 2 in December to let me know that they got something big planned and that I need to have evening wear for a night on the town. As much as my ass shop, I did not think about purchasing evening wear or anything to wear for New Year’s, which Harry and Michelle insist that I stay longer to attend a New Year’s Eve party with them. And I just couldn’t say “No!”  (Feeling guilty before it all starts)

So the ride to San Antonio went smooth and late as usually, but that is okay.  Upon arrival at the house, the outside was bright with festival Christmas lights, however when I walked inside it was another thing and I did not have any sunglasses with me.  More festival Christmas stuff than I could even image. I mean the decorations that were in Harry and Michelle’s house was something that I have not seen since my Grandmother when we used to live on Eggleston St in Chicago. (Those were the go days!) I counted four Christmas trees, including a pink Christmas tree, in the house and decorations where ever in almost ever rooms in the house, this is including the bedrooms and two of the three bathrooms.  Christmas stockings over the fireplace and three stockings on the wall, one for each dog in the house: Fifi, Houston, and Bella. Again I have not seen this amount of gifts since Christmas on Eggleston St., with most of the gifts going to the kids as usually. And the scents of Christmas through out the house.

From December 22 - January 2, we went to dinner at other people’s house for dinner. We drove around Windcrest for look at the beautiful decorations, and yes, I too video and pictures.  We had a lot of baking which lead to a lot washing dishes. (Trust me when I say that my hand are beyond the Palmolive Hands for dish wash.) Again it reminded me of days of living in my grandparents' house on Eggleston St. in Chicago. And finish the time there with New Year’s Eve at Harry and Michelle’s friends’s house with some amazing people, and we realizes just how old we are to try stay up. It was cute and hilarious in enjoy that evening. Now somewhere during these days, Bella decided to redecorate the house with things that she thought were appropriate. (That is truly a story for another time.)

Also during that time, I have managed to eat more tamales than I have ever eaten in my life time. With each tamale, I eat a different kind with amazing favor. And come to find out that tamales is a regular dish in the San Antonio area.  So WOW to that factor and to eat some of the other amazing food that I got to eat.

Spending Christmas with Harry, Michelle and the girls made me realizes what I missed most about spending Christmas with my family and what I do not miss about spending Christmas with my family. And there were a lot of don'ts!

Until next time. . . .