Miss Victoria's Secrets!

Y'all, I have been told time and time again that the life that I have lived should be and ought be written for everyone else to read.  Yes I believe in living a life that is not designed around others but it is enjoyed with others.  But before I can write down these stories that I have lived, I think you should at least get to know me better and understand my mental state of mind! Right?

I am so the Devil's Daughter in my behavior. This is a good thing because . . . . I enjoy what life has to offer.

I will always tell you the truth about me so be careful what questions you ask me.

If I am offended about something, I will tell you.  That way I am always happy.

I give compliments where I see compliments are deserved, and I make it a point to compliment my friends and some of my love ones. (I said some!)

I am flirtation and I like to bite with it.

Who would I have an affair with? Hhhmm, let me think. . . . Simon LeBon for starters; Daniel Craig can be my everyday robe; Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is my every day snack; Chiwetel Ejiofer can dress me and undress me for that fact; and Idris Elba (Lord have mercy!) would require me to think about it! (I saw a picture . . . . hhhmmm, I saw A PICTURE!) (Happy face!)

Do I enjoy going to swingers parties? Of course I do and sure that martinis are being served.

Am I an opportunist?  Only if it is given to me. 

What are my hobbies?  Create one for me so I can get into trouble.

My favor drink is Sake-tini.  Followed by Soju and a Saki bomber. 

I keep a bottle of either Gray Goose or Absolute Vodka just so I can stay objective when I am writing my papers.

I am on the lower end of being a full-figure girl.  Don't ask me to be skinny, I don't fuckin' look right!

I am a gamer mom with my own Guitar Hero set and second guitar.  I have Devil May Cry 1, 2, 3, & 4 and never play them.

I enjoy watching anime and wat--ching anime.  All you slow ones hurry up and catch up!

I would like to sit down with Donald Trump and discuss with him about King Richard IV.  Followed by a day or two of peace and quiet. 

Even though I have several boyfriends, Mehmet is the only one (for now)!

When it comes to shopping, I shop more for underwear because a girl must have something sexy underneath at all times!

My daily moisturizer is Vitamin E, that way you all would continue to believe that I am in my thirties!

I eat in modernization that would include my men.  And come to think of it the only time I do chocolate are my men.  (Giggles!)

I am very supportive in anything that my friends decide to do with theirs lives. Even if they fuck up, I will still support them.  And if they understand that they fucked up, I will support them in their understanding of their fucked up.

My two favorite big brothers are Ronnie and Reggie Kray.

My favorite book is The Kite!

My favorite movies are The Mummy and Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.  Find the connection.

My favorite television series is Dracula starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  (NBC and Amazon needs their ass kick for this one!) Got a girl addicted like hell!

My pet-peeves: when a man get into bed with his socks on and he tells me what I can not do. (There is a reason why I am a woman of many skills.)

Turn-ons: An intelligent man with an open-mind and a cast iron stomach! (My taste buds are all over the world!)

Being objective and being non-judge-mental is always a good thing and even better for you! Lord knows how direct I can be.

I love things that are simple and confusing.  That is just how my mind works.

I DO NOT LIKE DRAMA!  Unless it is K-drama (Korean soap operas!)

I find nothing wrong with being naughty as long as it is done with the right person! 

I am always thinking; it is when I am NOT thinking that everyone else is in trouble!

And my favorite pets are Scooby-Doo, Tom & Jerry, and Bugs Bunny.  They require no feeding, no petting, and no cleaning.

I have more secrets to tell . . . .but when I learned them then I can tell you.  But for right now I am trying to understand the psychology of communication and I have to give JRM an apology for 6 Souls. (Well, let me think about that apology!)

What is Pre-Pause Menopause?

Upon turning 45 years last December I have been experiencing some womanly things that has cause me to not be myself any more. I find myself being a lot more happier, nicer and sarcastic than usual.  I know that when I get in my 40s that I would be going throw some things with my body but the Lord did not prepare me for what I have been through this year with my body.  So recently I went to see my Gyn. and Lord have mercy on me because I have been her calling my BYON or my GYON, y'all just walk along with me because I really have not myself at all.

So sitting the in the doctor's office with the doctor and I am explaining to her how Auntie Flo has really been inconvenient for me this year.  I love her when she shows up on regular 28 days but then there were times when she would show up 2 or 2 1/2 weeks later and in my frame of mind, I am like let me kill this bitch here! There has also been a few times where this bitch would show up 30 or 45 days later. Ladies in my frame of mind I am like give me a knife so I can stab this bitch!  (Now keep in mind that I am explaining this to my Gyn.)  Auntie Flo makes herself be known by causing me such pain that I am bend over trying to push her out like I am in labor.  Whenever Auntie Flo is visiting and if I am sitting in the back seat of a car, whoever is in the front seat, guess what?  Their ass is going into the engine of car. That is just how much Auntie Flo is causing extreme discomfort for me.  I also described some other symptoms which I would not share here and just know that they were too crazy for me to comprehend before I had this conversation with my Gyn.

So the following dialog is what took place between me and doctor:

Doctor: Are you having double vision?

Me: Only when I going intents spreadsheets and viewing social media for took long.

Doctor: Do you get dizziness?

Me: Only when I drink too much Kool-aid.

Doctor:  How is your sleep habit?

Me: There are nights where I can sleep all night and there are times like that past few night where I have toss my ass like a salad.  However I am contributing that to Auntie Flo who just came and went. Thank you Jesus!  And yet I have not done my 28 days cycle and I am thinking that I am starting menopause.

(But then the doctor said something that just floored the hell out of me!)
Doctor: It sound like you are having pre-pause menopause.

Ladies, I wish you all were there to see the look on my face because I was still on the "Pre" of the pre-pause menopause.

Me: What? (And I trying to think here but I can't because of the "Pre".)

Doctor: It is where your body is starting to prepare itself for menopause.

Me: WHAT? And wait I am still on the "pre" part.

Doctor: Pre-pause menopause takes place 3 to 7 years prior to menopause taking action. 

Me: Huh? ( I am still in astonishment with "pre"!) (Y'all had to be there to witness my reaction to hearing this.)

Doctor: Menopause is when you do not have a period of a year or more straight.  You period might come for a few months and then not come for a few months.  That is not menopause and you can still have a baby during that time.

Me: Shit, I did not need to encourage Mehmet like that! That boy is under the impression that we can have a baby!  And that is really a conversation that I did not want to have my 25 years son.  Can you image what he will say after all this time?!  And he is leaving to go do Active Duty for the Army. 

(Yes Ladies I am freaking out about this because on one hand Mehmet will have hope and on the other Nick will kill me!)

Doctor: (and she is laughing at me!) You will be fine and I will give some to information on Pre-pause menopause.  Let's start your exam.  Would you like a flu shot today as well?

Me: What? Huh?  Really?  Is it time for that again?  What?

Before leaving the doctor's office I did get my flu shot wondering when did that become apart of the Big Girl Exam process. 

The next day I was still in all about the Pre-Pause Menopause that I had to call Glenna and tell her all about my visit with the Gyn (Gyon - I am not myself, y'all!), repeating everything to here prompted her to say "What?' follow by laughter.  So our conversation was like this:

Glenna: I wonder how many millions of dollars did it take for them to come up with that word?

Me: Do they even do studies on Menopause?

Glenna: Sure they do! How in the hell do you think they come up with all these damn names.

Me: But what exactly is Menopause?

Glenna: Menopause is the transaction of a woman body changes into drying up and get blowing away.  You should write about this in your blog?

Me: I sure should.  Wait, let me write down what you just said about menopause.  Repeat what you just said.

Glenna: I said, I said that menopause is the transaction of  . . . . . . . what the hell did I just say? Menopause is the action of . . . . . Aw hell! Don't ask a person with earlier stages of Alzheimer's disease to remember what the hell I just said!!!

Me: Oooops, sorry sweetie! {As part of the Psychology of Communication, I know that my BBF has a lot of health issues and I never want to her to feel that she is alone in them!}  I forget the we had that!
(This is followed by laughter from the both of us!)

Glenna: What happen to Post Menopause?  And that is all I know about is post menopause.

So Ladies I had to do some research on this to learn that Menopause comes in three stages.  (What?)
Perimenopause, Menopuase, and PostMenopause.  (NO WONDER I AM SO CONFUSED!)  And Lord have mercy . . . . I can not wait to have a discussion with Glenna regard this?

Stay tune and at this point I need something strong than vodka, perhaps Saki!

Coming this Month in September!

Lord have mercy, we are in another month for the year 2015.  If some of y'all like me and you saying this year is flying by . . .for some of us this a good while for others it may not.

For a lot of parents this is a good thing because it is the start of another school for their children who are going back to school or have already started school.  Who is doing the dance of joy on this one?  If you don't have little ones still at home, this means peace and quiet for you at home until 3 p.m. For other parents it means fewer less children. (Geçmiş olsun!)  But it also brings all the after school programs, those parent-teacher conferences that many parents dread, and those Fridays' night games.

For all you new college students, for the first month you will be stupid to things but after that you will be okay.  For all you second year students who did not learn anything in your first year, then consider yourself still stupid!  For you third year students who have managed to get this far congratulation, but you still have not cleared the stupid range just yet.  And those of you who have final made it to this last year of college, you are about to meet the most scariest teacher in your  college life that will make stupid you like you were when you were a freshmen.  (Geçmiş olsun!)

For all of you who decide to embark on getting that Master degree, I encourage you to become a member of a wine club because you will need to stay objective in your writing.  And for those of you who have moved on to getting that Ph. D, I recommend that you find a friend who currently gets a subscription of Vicodin from their doctor.  By the way, geçmiş olsun!

It is the start for yet another wonderful school year of high financial expenses.  Depending on what level your children are at and how many children you have in school.  Elementary school is not so bad with school supplies, Halloween candy and costumes, picture day, Christmas parties, Valentine candy, Easter party and birthday parties at school.  It is not that bad!

For you parents who have kids in high school, we have homecoming game and party, turn-a-bouts, class pictures, prom for our juniors and seniors, and graduation for our seniors.  That is not bad!

For your college student parents', for each that child is in college they will spend a third of your savings.  If you don't believe me here is what you should do: one, save all the receipts from the items that you brought them at the beginning of the year for their dorm living (don't forget to include the gas money you had to spend to them to the dorm); two, keep receipts of all expenses for the whole year including travel and extra spending money; and three, keep all moving out of the dorm expenses this would include gas money too.  then add it all up . . .you probably spend more than a third.  As a parent you have the right to tell your child to get a job to help pay for some of these expenses.

And for those of you who getting that Master or that Ph. D, you are shit out of luck! Your parents can NOT help you at this stage in your life. So man up or woman up and pay for those expenses out of your own pocket.  Yeah, it will hurt while you are getting that degree and it will hurt even more when you finish and got that job to help pay back that money. (Smiles)  This is why I am recommending that you join a wine club.  So it can hurt less, not much but a little less.

Today starts a new 8 week class for me and the start of my social media university classes. So while y'all are reading this, I have already called Asia and she and I are headed to Cooper Hawks to get our case of wine! (She got a 5th grader, an 8th grader, and a junior in high school) She more than a case.